Written by John Breech at CBSSports.com
If you’ve been paying attention to the NFL this offseason, then you’ve probably noticed that a lot players have decided to retire. Apparently, no one wants to play in the NFL anymore.
Since February, it has basically felt like we can’t go three days without someone new announcing their retirement.
As it turns out, there have been so many retirements in the NFL this offseason that you could field an actual team made up of only retired players, so that’s what we decided to do: Put together a retirement team.
The wild thing about his team is that it would probably be pretty good (assuming everyone’s healthy).
You want an All-Pro quarterback? You have Peyton Manning.
You love alliteration? You have Manning to Megatron and Manning to Marshawn.
You love old sitcoms? You have the Charles in Charge secondary featuring Charles Tillman and Charles Woodson.
Last year, there were so many suspensions that we were able to put together an All-Suspension team.
This year? We present to you the 2016 All-Retirement Team, and this team is no joke.
There are 25 players on our All-Retirement Team and most of them had pretty distinguished careers. For instance, the 25 players played in a total of 27 Super Bowls and walked away with 10 Super Bowl rings.
The guys who retired this year weren’t just role players either, most of them were perennial stars. Just look at their Pro Bowl totals. The 25 players on the 2016 All-Retirement team combined to go to a total of 75 Pro Bowls. That number is led by Manning and Woodson, who combined to go to 20 Pro Bowls between them.
Oh, and now that the players on our All-Retirement Team are officially retired, don’t expect to see them out looking for another job anytime soon, because most of them are set for life.
The 25 players on our All-Retirement Team combined to make roughly $1.434 BILLION during their career. And no, that’s not a mistake, that definitely says billion. The richest person on the All-Retirement Team is likely Manning, who earned roughly $248.7 million during his career. On the other hand, offensive lineman Manny Ramirez only walked away with roughly $10 million during his eight-year career.
That’s enough numbers for now. Let’s get to the All-Retirement team, and Roger Goodell, if you’re reading, you should let these guys field a team this year and put them in the AFC South. I think they could win it.
2016 NFL All-Retirement Team: Offense
QB Peyton Manning
- Age: 40
- Career earnings estimate via Spotrac: $248.7 million
- Career highlights: Five-time MVP; Two-time Super Bowl winner; 11 Pro Bowls; No. 1 overall pick in 1998 NFL Draft; MVP of Papa John’s
Competition for the starting quarterback spot on the All-Retirement team was fierce, but the nod eventually went to Manning over Matt Hasselbeck, and that had a lot to do with the fact that Manning has five more MVP awards than Hasselbeck.
No. 2 QB Matt Hasselbeck
- Age: 40
- Career earnings estimate: $88 million
- Career highlights: Led the Seahawks to an appearance in Super Bowl XL; led Seattle to six playoff appearances in 10 years; will probably always regret his overtime coin toss call against Green Bay; somehow made $88 million in his career; sixth-round draft pick in 1999
Hasselbeck started his career by backing up Brett Favre and ended it by backing up Andrew Luck, so backing up Peyton Manning on the All-Retirement Team seems to make sense for him.
RB Marshawn Lynch
- Age: 30
- Career earnings estimate: $49.7 million
- Career highlights: One-time Super Bowl winner; five Pro Bowls; didn’t get the ball on the Seahawks’ final offensive play of Super Bowl XLIV; used to eat cereal with cockroaches in it; No. 12 overall pick in 2007 NFL Draft
Putting Beast Mode in the same offense as Peyton Manning almost isn’t fair. Manning might be old and hobbled, but as he proved last year, he can still hand the ball off with the best of them. Beast Mode would have likely have to carry the All-Retirement team’s offense.
To continue reading this article, click here.
