Written by Brendon Donohoe
So I am pretty sure the NFL is littered with superhumans. The receptions, the throws, the hits. These guys even come back from the dead (Welcome back Johnny Football)! These guys were making plays that would make Batman jealous. Without further adieu, here is your week 2 recap.
Houston Texans – 17, Carolina Panthers – 24
Texans tried to be the kryptonite to Cam Newton and the Panthers, but there was no stopping Superman this Sunday.
San Francisco 49ers – 18, Pittsburgh – Steelers 43
Remember when the 49ers defense shut down the Vikings and Carlos Hyde looked like the running back of the future? Well the Steelers didn’t. Big Ben was near perfect and Antonio Brown made the 49ers defense look like they were moving in slow motion.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – 26, New Orleans Saints – 19
Jameis Winston? Jameis Winston! After getting decimated by the Titans in week 1, the Bucs bounced back and shocked the Saints in a matchup that went down to the wire.
Detroit Lions – 16, Minnesota Vikings – 26
Adrian Peterson’s road to becoming a superhuman again took a major boost as he ran up and down on the Lions defense in the win.
Arizona Cardinals – 48, Chicago Bears – 23
The Bears and Cardinals game was looking like it was going to be an offensive masterpiece until Jay Cutler injured his right shoulder in the second quarter and could not return to the game. How did Jay Cutler get hurt? Attempting to tackle a defender who was returning an interception Cutler had just thrown. I don’t think I’ve heard a more Jay Cutler move.
New England Patriots – 40, Buffalo Bills – 32
Tom Brady’s season of vengeance continued in Buffalo as Brady shredded one of the league’s top defenses. Rex Ryan took the blame for team’s loss and looked humbled in the postgame interview. I lied, Rex Ryan is never humbled. Oh, and when did Danny Amendola learn to fly?
San Diego Chargers – 19, Cincinnati Bengals – 24
In a game featuring two talented evenly matched, the Bengals managed to play just a bit better. Dalton continues to look great this season, and the Dalton to Eifert connection is dare I say, Brady-Gronk-esque.
Tennessee Titans – 14, Cleveland Browns – 28
Oh Johnny how I’ve missed you. Johnny Football got his first win as a starter while throwing 2 TDs and 0 INTs. Oh, and Mariota is pretty good too.
Atlanta Falcons – 24, New York Giants – 20
It was a hard fought battle between these two teams that had the Falcons winning by scoring touchdown with just over a minute left in the game. Also, Julio isn’t human.
St. Louis Rams – 10, Washington Redskins – 24
The arrival of Matt Jones adds an interesting dynamic to an ever changing Redskins offense. Rams on the other hand looked like a completely different team than last week, and it defintly wasn’t for the better.
Miami Dolphins – 20, Jacksonville Jaguars – 23
Since his big payday, Ndamukong Suh has looked very mediocre, much to the Dolphins displeasure. The Jaguars management on the other hand must have been ecstatic as their offensive line looked surprisingly decent, and Blake Bortles looked like the franchise QB they hoped he would be.
Baltimore Ravens – 33, Oakland Raiders – 37
What’s going in Baltimore? In week one the offense looked terrible, and in week two it was the defenses turn. Though give credit to Oakland. The Raiders defense is still a wreck, but the offense might actually be pretty good with Derek Carr, Amari Cooper, and Michael Crabtree.
Dallas Cowboys – 20, Philadelphia Eagles – 10
Let’s list the ways everyone lost in the matchup
- Cowboys lost Tony Romo to injury for much of the rest of the season
- Eagles got the loss, Sam Bradford looked terrible, and Demarco Murray looked even worse
- Last but not lease, the fans for having to watch this atrocity of a game.
Seattle Seahawks – 17, Green Bay Packers – 27
After dropping 3 straight games to the Seahawks, the Packers finally managed get the win. Whether it was by land or by air, the Packers offense outplayed the Legion of Boom.
BONUS ROUND
Indianapolis Colts – 27, New York Jets – 20
There is no chance Andrew Luck is getting shut down two weeks in a row.
Come back next week for the Week 3 recap.
